Memoirs of a Babysitting Father:Entry 2

So this is the second day after Funsho has begun his vacation. Knowing the challenge before me, I was somehow just hoping today would go smoothly, just like yesterday. However deep inside I knew it wouldn’t just be like yesterday.

Let me give you some background, ok? I had worked late into the night and went to bed sometime after 2 am in the morning. What else could I do? Was I to leave my business hanging because I didn’t have any babysitter yet? Definitely not! So I tried to do some work before I crashed for the night.

I wasn’t as lucky as I was yesterday as my sister-in-law didn’t do me the favour of bathing my son. When I eventually got up from the bed, to listen to a 6.30am programme on the TV, I was groggily as I walked into the sitting room. As soon as I finshed watching the programme at 7 o’clock, my son went into the room where his laundry basket is, and pulled out his school uniform. He was bent on going to school this morning. I had to pacify him by putting his P.E. wear on for him. I got one of his favourite DVDs, a Hillsongs Kids video, and started playing that for him. That lasted a while. When he bagan to cry, insiting he wanted to go to school, I took him to a tuck shop nearby and bought him a few sweets just to get his attention off school.

Not long after, sometime around 11, Jadesola, my daughter woke up. She was wet and hungry and needed to be attended to. I mixed her formula up and soon she was sucking away at the bottle. As soon as she finished, I then went on to change her wet diaper. It was then that something funny happened.

I was removing the wet diaper and had put the clean one beside the baby when my 2 year-old son, rushed to the bed, grabbed the diaper and made a run for the bedroom door. I gave chase, and he laughed heartily to see me chase him for the diaper. I couldn’t help laughing when I caught up with him and pulled the diaper out of his hands. He fell to the floor, rolling in laughter. I couldn’t help but laugh. Where did he get that sense of humour from? That just opened the window of sunshine on my drab day. I really can count it all joy!

Life can be tough but what you do with what you have of it can make it so bright you’ll be laughing all the way.

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Memoirs of a Babysitting Father:Entry 1

We started off the day but not like our normal days. It had been a very physical weekend for me and I was short on sleep, so I was looking forward to making up for all the lost sleep. I was wondering how I was going to make that happen since my very energetic two year-old Funsho was home on vacation, having ended the school term.

My sister-in-law had bathed for him before she left for work, so that made things a little bit easier for me. That took one domestic task out of the way. I was really looking for ideas on how to keep the little laddie busy. How I was going to do it, I didn’t know but I knew I had to just pull it off somehow, at least until 5 o’clock when the shift would change.

To make things a little bit more complicated, my little son, not understanding the concept of school terms and the vacation thing, went to the door, dragging me along, in the hope that I would just take him to his beloved pals and teacher. He apparently has been enjoying school in the past few weeks and didn’t want it to stop.

So here’s my dilemma. I run a freelance creative design agency and I had deadlines to meet but here was I trying to merge that with handling a 5 month old baby girl and a toddler, whose energy level will tire Ben Johnson on steroids. Of course the one solution I could think up has been to work at night, so I baby-sit during the day and work at night. That hasn’t been coming along too well (the work at night bit) but I’m working at it until we can get some help.

In the meantime, I need to do something for myself. The bible says we should count it all joy when we face different kinds of tribulations. Well here am I in this kind of situation, where it appears everything is working against me and I have a choice to sulk and get upset and irritable. Why should I be the one under this kind of domestic pressure when I’m not a wife or mother? But I can also choose to be positive about this (and that’s why I’m blogging this issue).

So what was I going to do to keep this young man busy? God came to my rescue. Do you know how good sleep is? You really should be thankful to God that He created sleep. Its so gloriously relaxing that you can forget all the cares in the world and just….sleep? What other word can you use in place of sleep? You must be wondering why the praise has suddenly gone up for sleep right? Well you know I had told you earlier how my weekend was so hectic and physically exhausting? I needed to sleep and then it happened, while I was trying to stay awake, my son came to me, in the bedroom and lay on the bed. I had put the little girl on her stomach on the bed too and it was time for her to sleep.

Since she was fed full, it didn’t take long for her to doze off. I simply told my son to lie down on the bed and sleep and the next thing I know, all three of us were in dreamland. We slept for about four hours at a stretch- 11.30am to 3pm. Oh, how refreshing. Of course by the time we all woke up, I had to prepare lunch for the children. And it didn’t take long for the “afternoon shift” person to come take over.

For the next few days (I’m really praying they are short), I will be taking you through the memoirs of a babysitting father.

Enjoy!

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NOT BY POWER...ALONE

There's no need to say its been such a long time since I posted anything here so just read on ok? My handsome son has been a source of fascination for me in the past few weeks. He's entered the toddler tantrum stage where he sees what adults do and wants to do the same stuff with the ease and perfection adults do but of course can't do. Because he can't get the same results as the adults around do, he gets angry and frustrated and just begins to hit the person nearest him or just fling the item in his hand away.

What is most interesting is that when anyone wants to help, he vehemently refuses. One day he was throwing one of those tantrums again. I watched as he kept trying to feed himself without spilling the rice he wanted to eat. You could see the frustration he experienced as he kept spilling the rice since he hadn't learned how to master the handling of the spoon yet. As I looked on, I could identify with him.

You know the many times you have taken on a project or endeavour and tried with all the resources and abilities you have, to achieve some level of success and failed, time and time again? You know the feeling that yuo get after you have done everything you believe is necesary for success and still yet the end you had in sight is elusive?

Well I need you to know that there's no harm in putting all our efforts to see our dreams fulfilled. It is good to make plans and work at making our dreams a reality. However we must also realise that we are only human and even though we make good plans, it is going to take more that good plans to succeed at whatever we are doing.

These are days when dependence on God is seen as weakness. A period when independence is celebrated but we must never forget that eventhough a horse is prepared for battle, victory is gauranteed by the Lord. As much as we have all the human and financial resources, electronic gadgets, know-how (intelligence) and connections we must understand that the arm of flesh will fail. Let's learn to commit our ways to God and see Him perfect our plans.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart...in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path.

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OPEN UP!

WOW! Its been (thinking...how many months now?) more than four months now since I last put anything on this web space and... Sorry about that. I was chasing a spider of my space. Apparently they had taken over the whole place since I haven't been this road in a couple of months. Well, I'll just have to handle both the spring cleaning and blogging at the same time. So straight to business.

A lot of water has gone under the bridge (or should I say a lot of traffic has passed this expressway?) Whatever! There's a lot that has happened in the past few months. I'll be filling you in as the days go by. However what's primary on my mind now is simple.

I was looking for a Don Moen CD recently, the I Will Sing album in particular, and I passed by this music stand somewhere in Iyana Ipaja, where I stay, in Lagos. What I saw disgusted me and I'm not trying to sound very holy since I have had issues with this in the past (and I, must honestly say, am taking my stand against it on a daily basis). The store owner was playing an indigenous gospel (christian) album so I simply stepped up to ask if she had the album I was looking for. On my left was this display of DVDs and this is where what sparked off this post came from. On display were pornographic DVDs, not for your viewing pleasure alone but also for your purchase.

My stomach turned at the sight and I quickly turned my face away. Now I need to make this clear. As an able-bodied man, the sight of a naked woman in different poses definitely excites strikes a chord in my natural senses. Not to talk of the fact that I have struggled seriously with porn over the years. It has taken a lot of focus on God and His grace to be able to live above it. That someone like me can almost vomit at the sight of porn is a miracle only God can explain but that's a post for another day right?

So here was I at the shop, that was playing gospel music and requesting a Don Moen CD and they were selling porn. It just didn't register. As I thought of showing the store owner my disgust, I wondered how we could be so two-faced. No wonder unbelievers don't change when we share Christ with them. We are so full of mixtures. I never really showed her how my disgust (and I didn't like that, not so much because of myself. I should be standing up against imbalances as much as possible).

However I left that place thinking how very two-faced we tend to be as believers. We have a space for God in our hearts but then our hearts aren't exclusively His. We compartmentalize our lives and our hearts giving God room to be Lord in some parts of our lives and then we lock Him out of some parts of our lives. We clean up some parts of our lives and leave some parts as filthy as it can get. We do all the 'spiritual' stuff and still indulge in a lot of carnal stuff. We are, many times, so unwilling to let go of that part of our nature that's not yet rightly aligned to the will of God.

The culture of the world informs us to keep our dirty linen secret and we tend to do that when we relate to God too. We want to appear pious and blameless but we fail to realize that the righteousness that's acceptable to God is not our good works but the acceptance we receive in and through Christ. We go before God and act up and then tell ourselves we'll expose ourselves to Him when we get our acts right but God expects us to come submitting all we are and have to Him. However, the message Jesus preached was that of a change of mind. First change your way of thinking and then a change of action follows. Clean the inside of the cup first then the outside will ultimately be cleaned up too.

Let's stop compartmentalizing our lives and open up to Him, who can clean us up. Let's give our lives to Him the way we are. Let's stop keeping Him out. Its time to repent and change the way we think! Its time to submit our all, good and bad, to Him.

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THE JUMP

Here I am lost in the myriad of people in this valley - this valley of decision.I see frustration and lack of content on all their faces. A desire to be free, a desire for abundance, a desire to be in control but it appears there is no way of escape . Or is it that the demands of the freedom are too high? At the top of one of the hills around I see a sign "This way to freedom" it reads. My heart leaps for joy at the thought of a way out of this choking valley. I wonder how people have been able to feel comfortable in such uncomfortable surroundings. Even though there was a promise of freedom. I advance towards the sign and I feel a hand tug my shirt. I turn and see an old, wrinkled face telling me to give up the move towards freedom. I yank my hand away and run towards the sign before fear made me change my mind.

At the top of the hill, I discover it is not a hill but a cliff. The drop goes on and I cant even see the bottom of the cliff. A couple of miles ahead is another cliff. This cliff is different though. Lots of people, dressed in better clothes than the rags I was wearing. An horizon of beautiful sunsets, breath-taking landscapes, eye-popping architecture, all the things I had always dreamed of. Between me and this new life was this chasm, this space and there were no bridges. I took a deep sigh and knew why many had refused to leave this valley. What was I to do?

On the other side, a sign appeared. "Jump", it said. The old man suddenly appeared and he pointed to the sign and began to laugh. His laughter questioned my trust in such a flimsy sign seeing the obvious folly of such an instruction. But deep within me I knew the sign was true. Having seen the promise of this new life, how could I return to this horrid valley? I slept there, at the top of that cliff, that night. Sights of the brightness that enveloped the plain before me lulled me to sleep. But even with that, I couldn't sleep for long hours as I kept waking up gazing at the world before me. The promise of a better life.

After what seemed like many days I knew I had to make a choice. A choice to forget this life before me and go back to the valley, back to the darkness. I couldn't think of going back to that life and I settled it.
This new life had to be mine and whatever it took, I would go for it. I looked up and said a prayer,
Father, I see the instruction You have given. I know that Your wisdom surpasses that of man so I will trust in You.
I'm about to jump and there are two things that would happen. When I jump, I will fall but You will provide a cushion for me at the bottom of this cliff so I wont be hurt. The second thing is this, and that is what I pray that You do, when I jump, You will give me wings that will take me over this wide expanse of space and land me into this promise of a new life.

With this much said, I walked back a few meters, preparing for a long jump. Sure that I had enough room to run before my jump, I drew in a long and deep breathe. Adrenaline pumped into my system and my heart worked at double capacity. This was definitely a death jump, the man shouted. But my mind was made up. Right now, the ball was now in God's court. My life raced before my eyes as the breeze blew against my face. I ran towards the cliff, my eyes focused on the beautiful city before me.It seemed like forever but I got finally got to the cliff's edge and I took the leap and then closed my eyes...

I opened my eyes. I was lying flat on my back. I was soaked in sweat. I turned to my side as I hear sounds of soft breathing beside me. Another reality hit me. I was in my bedroom. It was my wife's breathing that I was hearing beside me.

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The picture on the left is of my son on my knees, Olu-funsho (I love to call him Funshito). Whenever I return from work, and I'm welcomed by his toothless smile, my heart leaps for joy and every hard time I've had in the day just evaporates. Just today I listened to something a respected worship leader said. He said, and let me try and paraphrase, Help us Lord not to cringe away when You raise Your hand thinking You want to hit us but help us see that You want to put Your arms around us. When I heard this, my heart leaped in me because I have been meditating on the fatherhood of God.

We are so quick to assume God is the strict disciplinarian who flares into a rage every time we do something bad. We think He's like our earthly fathers that exude fear. I don't know about you but when I was growing up I remember that anytime my dad returned from work, we all ran for cover. We only welcomed him and then we all went into hiding. Interestingly we all think our Heavenly Father is like that.

Before you jump to the other end of the ditch, let me first state that God's love does not give room to loose living and God will always punish sin but God is not quick to punish. He does not like to clobber His own. He doesn't delight in our suffering. Why do you think the "prodigal" son was not even chastised by his father? Was it because he had done all things well? Definitely not!

We must break away from the African mentality that sees fathers as fire-breathing dragons that would eat us up at the slightest appearance and enter the culture of God's kingdom that encourages cordial relationship between God, our Father and we his sons. Our experiences with our earthly fathers have shaped our thinking and made us so afraid to approach our Father when we miss it. That shouldn't be. Where else should we go when we miss it and make a mess of things? Into the arms of our dear loving Father, who will chastise us BUT in love.

'nuff said!

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NEGLIGENT DRIVER

August 3rd, 2007 began as it usually does for my family- wake up, bathe the baby, take our baths, get dressed and leave for church. The difference this time was that we would be going to church in our car, with me on the wheels (I'm grinning from ear to ear).

We got ready and soon we were in the car, my (beautiful) wife Mojisola, our chubby baby boy, Olu-funsho and I. We had to buy fuel and pick a friend, who happens to be my instructor and a member of our church along the way, so the real test of my driving had not really started. When we had picked him and bought fuel, we started the next phase of our journey to Gbagada, where our church is located.

Being very new at driving on the roads of Nigeria, I had to drive slowly and carefully so while other drivers are speeding off, I'm just crawling along, with my Learner's Certificate, obvious to the all the other road users. Are you wandering what the certificate is? You must have guessed by now, right?

Well the distance between me and the car ahead of me was about a hundred metres so there was enough room for a policeman to stop right in front of me and wave me down. I must tell you that I donot like Nigerian policemen, even though I have an uncle who's an ASP in Osun State. Well I had to stop, didn't I? At least here's a representative of the law asking me to pull over. I pulled over to my right and stopped. Then the policeman asked for my vehicle insurance. I was wondering what his business with that was but I reached into the glove compartment of the car and pulled out the photocopies of my vehicle particulars.

At this point I would like to back up to about twenty hours before this time (about 7.30 in the morning), where my friend/instructor showed me that the declaration for change of ownership document I had was not signed by the declarant, in this case me. I had asked someone to help me sort out the vehicle particulars and he had left the part where I was supposed to sign empty. My friend/instructor had told me to sign the document, because the Police had stopped him too on Friday on the same issue. Well, to cut a long story short, I forgot to sign the document.

So lets fast foward to Sunday, 7.30am at Bolade junction, Oshodi Expressway. As I pulled the particulars out, it was opened to the part where the declarator's signature was supposed to be. The policeman, since most of them are looking for something to implicate drivers with, spotted it at once. I knew there was trouble immediately. After a lot of pleading from my end, he got into my car and asked me to drive to the police station. We never got into the police station and after much pleading (and another 15 minutes), I parted with three hundred naira!

However that isn't my point. When we got to church, I made a comment. "Maybe," I said "it was because we didn't pray well in the morning that we got into the qualms with the police?" My wife immediately rebuked me. She told me it was my NEGLIGENCE that caused the episode. I immediately repented. As I meditated on what happened, it occurred to me that many times we are negligent in doing the right things and we expect God to just supernaturally cover up for our negligence.(Right now I have decided to watch out for areas of my life where I need to be more careful and diligent).

It is clear from scripture that God only assists us in our WEAKNESS not our NEGLIGENCE. It is interesting that many of the believers of today think like I do. We leave out the things we should do and expect the divine to just make up for us. The truth is that when we are negligent, we will pay for our errors. God, in His mercy, can come in but when we are negligent, we open ourselves to harrasment from opportunists. When we are negligent, the devil has a case against us and we can only appeal to God's mercy when judgement comes.

Remember, if you break the hedge, the serpent will bite.

'nuff said.

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